Is there an app for that?
Ever need reassurance? The deep, soul-kind of need-to-be-recognized as kind or beautiful or smart, or normal? Well, I do. There is an app for everything else. Why isn’t there an app for that?
I search for reassurance in the wrong places, from my husband, my boss, my peers, my kids, my friends…sometimes – – even my dog. But I never get what I need from them. I always leave empty. Who knows why? Maybe they’re not feeling like I’m normal that day. Perhaps my outfit is a color they don’t like. Likely, they have indigestion. All I know is that when I need reassurance and don’t get it, it is not pretty. It’s like I’m 13 all over again on the first day of 7th grade with the worst haircut of my life:
A fellow student walks in, sits in front of me, and says, “Ugh! What did you do to your hair? It looks awful!”
Embarrassed and ashamed, I tell my teacher I’m sick, and I cry the entire way to the office to call Mom to pick me up. When I get home, I lock myself in my bedroom closet, vowing never to step foot in junior high school again. #truestory
I’m still working through that. But now I realize that the shame I felt is more because of how I viewed myself than how the haircut Nazi viewed me. In other words, he just reinforced what I already thought was true.
The Reassurance App
Now that I’m older (and can’t call mom to pick me up on a bad hair day), I am learning to hear others’ opinions yet remain comfortable with who I am. If my hair looks bad, it doesn’t make me a bad person; it doesn’t make me unworthy of love. And if someone tells me my hair looks bad, it doesn’t make them a bad person and unworthy of my love. Everyone has an opinion-but, their opinion does not dictate who I am. Nor should it dictate who I become. (Have you read the post, I’m That Guy, yet?)
Sadly, I am not quite that ‘healthy’ yet, so I’ve got a better idea: An app for that! That’s right – – I’m going to make a Reassurance App! Yes – the Reassurance App will remind its purchasers that they are significant because it tells them whenever they need to hear it. And, an added benefit – – the assurance will be memorable because it will be in an obnoxious voice -a cross between Siri And Elmo. Definitely unforgettable.
Imagine: you reach for your phone, access the app, and there is the reassurance that you ROCK! It’s right there any time you need to hear it!
Too Good to Be True
Sadly, it is too good to be true. Not because I can’t create an app, mind you. Rather, the reassurance I need can’t come from an app or another person. It comes from God, through Jesus Christ. God thought I was enough to send His Son, who died for me, rose from the grave, and offers me the kingdom life right here, right now, with the help of his Holy Spirit.
And yet there are days I’d still rather have an app… :/
Father,
When I reach for my phone, wishing for an app, please help me remember that my worth comes from being yours. Remind me that no one else’s approval makes me more or less significant. You created me, died, and then conquered death so I can have relationship with you forever. Your Spirit reminds me daily that with your help, I have victory in this life. I’m ok – not because I’m awesome, not because others think I’m awesome… I’m ok because your Spirit bears witness to my spirit and makes me less of me and more of you. Thank you for that gift; it’s soooo much better than an app. Amen!
